ErotiCAT
My friend has an adorably annoying neurotic cat called Goofy who responds to cat or animal. He's absolutely the cutest smokey-black cat ever. The goofball is so full of energy, he'd chase his shadow and chew it of he could. He loves chasing after invisible objects and eats everything including paper, plastic and human hair. He likes his privacy when he's in the litterbox. He purrs when he wants attention and sleeps in the oddest places. His favorites, where ever your head should be, in the book you're trying to read and by the computer. I swear that cat is schitzo.

Goofy has the strangest habit late at night and into the early morning. Grooming and licking you as if you were his dirty little kitten. He parts your hair with his sharp claws and paws and slobbers all over your scalp licking it and wetting your hair. He makes the weirdest sound as he does it. It's almost as if he's enjoying himself. I guess as a cat with no balls, he's got to find a way to satisfy himself.

The neurotic creature will lick the back of your neck and ears. He doesn't seem to mind being pushed away, he'll be back in 5 seconds. It doesn't matter how hard you try to keep the covers over your head, he'll dig his way through them. The scary thing is that if you didn't know it were the cat with his sandpaper like tongue, you'd swear someone was trying to turn you on. Did I say it was a turn on? I plead the fifth. All I can say is that I now know the cat lady's secret!